Dreaming of Happiness

I hurt myself,
Just to hear the screams,
I kill myself,
Just to feel the pain,
Just to taste the blood as I drown myself in it,
Fallen to my knees in agony,
Withered up,
Dying,
All I can think to do it laugh,
Laugh, just so I can cry out more.
I’m obsessed with the idea of pain,
With the idea of death,
With darkness and decay,
The rot of flesh as it decomposes under the sun,
Unknown to any,
A woman,
Shriveled up and bleeding out until the minute of her demise,
A man,
Being the subject of torture as he begs for mercy,
Cold-blooded slaughter,
Unsuspecting victim,
It amuses me so,
Wishing I could be there with them,
Watching them wither and die,
Glimpse death as he takes their hand in his own icy grip,
Pray to be next.
Laughing forever so at these thoughts,
Fallen away to my own world,
Savouring each moment of my death,
Joining the victims of so many,
Pain was the last thing I felt.
Dreaming of happiness.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel

Engel

Sweet child of mine,
You took my hand,
You took my flesh,
And now the sky refuses to smile at you.
Murderous.

You watch as the darkness falls,
The only light you will know,
But instead of tears,
You produce a smile.
Relentless.

The wounds you have caused,
Scars that will never heal,
You fly on your broken wings of withered dreams,
And sing good-bye to all the angels.
Odious.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel