Please Don’t Cry

You may note the copyright notice on this poem reads ‘2013’ instead of ’14. That’s because I actually wrote this in the Summer of 2013, and it’s been sitting in my drafts ever since. I wasn’t satisfied with it and, to be frank, am still not. I thought and think it was/is typical and bland, no flavour of it’s own whatsoever. But, as is rather apparent on my blog, not every poem can be a hit and poets must suffer a few (or several) misses here and there. It only crowds my drafts so I hope you enjoy. Or don’t, either way, it’s here.
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You are my sun,

You are my sky,

Your glittering beauty should only be found in flowers,

I wish I had the wings to fly you away.

I see you in my dreams,

And such a beautiful dream you are,

One that brings tears to my eyes,

But you,

Please don’t cry.

I was trapped in my dream until I finally awoke to you,

Let me dry your tears,

Let me fly you away,

Hopefully one day we will be together,

One day I will get those wings,

One day we can once more die.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel

No More

An emptiness grows inside of my heart.

Growing and growing,

Tearing and eating my flesh away.

Blood drips from it’s hands,

Creating a void in my entire being.

I live, I exist,

No more, no more.

I love, I sleep,

Never again, nevermore.

Copyright © 2014 by
Atirah Jewel

A Love Story

The passionate love story,

Of the Moon and the Sun,

So far apart yet still so in love,

The hot Sun burns with passion for his Moon,

The radiant Moon shines with love for her Sun,

All through the day, all through the night,

They long for each other,

But no matter how hard they try,

They can never grow closer,

Except when the Sun is setting and the Moon is rising,

And for a brief moment, the two lovers share the sky,

Lighting up the sky with the colors of their love making,

Passionate, intense, fulfilling their desire for one another,

But of course, the Sun must go,

Giving the Moon the sky all to herself,

Letting night blanket the sky,

Alone she cries her glittering tears,

She longs for him,

Much like how I long for you,

So here, under the moonlight,

Under the light of a woman suffering in love,

Take me,

Be my Sun, make me your Moon,

Let us make our own love,

Love me until the lovers of the sky are together again,

Hold me until sunrise,

When they make love once more,

Then suffer with the Sun as I suffer with the Moon,

Until the time comes when we can briefly share the sky once more,

And color the world with our love.

Copyright © 2013 by

Atirah Jewel

Wingless

As I gaze in the mirror,

Something in my eyes,

Makes me want to cry,

As if I can see my own soul for the first time,

And what I see,

Makes me want to cry,

What I see is not ugly,

Nor is it something that should bring me sorrow,

It just reminds how limited I am,

Oh how I wish I had wings to take me somewhere,

Somewhere else from here,

My reflection looks back at me,

Tears glistening in it’s eyes,

As if it sees my soul like I see its,

In this endless aching of my heart,

I blindly wish for wings,

Not realizing how they will be the fall of me.

Copyright © 2013 by

Atirah Jewel

Can You Still…

When did everything,

Become so disgusting,

When did you,

Become infested with maggots,

Crawling, eating,

The flesh of your wounds,

Being devoured,

Can you still love?

 

The clouds don’t show today,

They were killed by the sun,

Which was in turn killed by the moon,

Can you hear it?

The agonized screams of souls,

Souls forever sentenced to damnation,

What lies ahead for your soul?

Can you still dream?

 

While you are still here,

Let us be together under these stars,

Under this hate-filled sky,

Let us love,

Leave everyone else behind in the dark,

And follow me into the light,

Follow me always,

Can you still think?

 

I search for the love,

The love that is yet to be killed by hate,

Will you sing for me again?

Will you scream for me again,

A million voices in one,

Will you bleed for me again,

Make me whole with your sad cries,

Can you still sing?

 

The day after tomorrow, the moon will die,

And I will fade with it,

I will murder us both,

And you will drown in the blood and loneliness,

Do you still know how to smile,

When you have no one left to love you,

Can you still laugh, Can you still cry,

Can you still love?

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

Good-bye to You

What future lies ahead of us?

A miserable, unfortunate one,

All I can hope is you will hold my hand as we blindly walk into it,

And that you will wipe my tears when I fall,

But in this depressing future that I have to look forward to,

I am alone,

With no one to guide me,

Good-bye to you,

I will cry but no one will dry my tears,

I will fall but no one will help me up,

I know you will eventually have to leave me and go your own way,

But please stay with me,

At least,

For one more day,

Before I have to say,

Good-bye to you,

Before I am alone, screaming where I will not be heard,

Dissolve gracefully, my friend,

Good-bye to you.

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

A Thousand Pairs of Eyes

I am scared,

I am angry,

I don’t know what I am,

I can’t walk,

I can’t move,

I’m always being followed,

By a man,

Sometimes a woman,

I go to a dinner party,

And I take off my hat,

Suddenly I am being watched by a thousand pairs of eyes,

Maybe more,

Some out in the open,

Some hidden in the shadows and places we won’t look,

I can’t put it back on because then more people would watch,

When I am at my seemingly empty home,

I can hear the footsteps of my stalkers,

My assassins,

Paranoia sets in,

But it’s not paranoia,

I know this,

To be noticed,

To know you have this talent,

This amazing talent,

That only a select few can see,

Can know,

They know,

And that is why they follow me,

So they can steal it from me,

So they can reduce me down to nothing,

As if I was a fraction,

To keep taking parts of my soul,

What is happening to me,

I had so many ideas,

Now I just scrawl all over the page,

I need to feel free,

Free of these all-seeing eyes,

Homicidal eyes,

Maybe later,

Always later,

These unfeeling hands can finally feel again,

Hearing thoughts spoken aloud,

My own thoughts that were to remain in my head,

Did I hear them or just think them,

I don’t know anymore,

My followers have all left me,

Alone and cold,

I miss them now,

They kept me occupied,

I have no one,

They’ve all forsaken me,

What is real anymore,

Crazy,

I think I’m going crazy,

Crazy crazy crazy,

Don’t ever bring me down,

Don’t let me come down,

Let me live this trip,

Crazy,

Oh crazy,

Losing my mind,

Oh the judgement day approaches,

And the man that walks me to the gate,

Speaks with the voice of a thousand men,

Staring at me,

Did he summon the stalkers who haunted my dreams,

No I summoned them,

I wanted them,

I wanted to be insane I think,

But I’m not yet,

They are,

Everyone is,

Not me,

Not yet,

I surpass GOD with all of the power surging through me,

The man with a thousand voices speaks to me,

“You dare defy me,”

A smile on my face,

No I have too much power to smile,

Judgement day,

I am not the accused,

But I am the judge,

This man my jury,

“I am your judge,”

I reply to him,

My voice a million yet sounding like one,

Sent back in time,

My sister clinging onto my blouse,

Her wide doe eyes staring up at me,

“Brother help me,”

A sight for sore eyes,

Covered in blood,

What has happened to her,

“They are all gone,

Dead and gone,

Oh brother please please help me,”

Her pleas sting my ears,

Tears falling and falling,

This is where it started,

I am not Judge,

Or God,

I am merely a man,

With no family,

I tried to help her,

But to the house she went,

I never see her again,

They say she went crazy,

I let her wither and die,

No,

Why,

Why couldn’t I help,

I am poor,

I am chained,

It is her eyes that follow me,

That haunt me,

But they are gone,

Is she gone,

I’ve taken from myself all I ever had,

And now I have nothing else to do but lay here,

With my pocket always empty,

And my hands always full,

Am I crazy yet,

No,

Not yet,

As I retrieve my coat and put on my hat,

I feel once again,

All of the eyes,

Watching me leave,

Watching me once more,

A thousand pairs of eyes.

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

Flowers

Your heart,

So beautiful,

Like you your face,

Like your soul,

With eyes so delicately piercing,

And skin so soft only could angel could possess,

I am taunted by the thought of you,

Creeping into my mind when I least expect,

When I try to get you off of it,

When I am dreaming,

The only thing I can dream is you,

And your hauntingly gorgeous angelic being,

Enveloped in your sweet kisses,

I feel true happiness,

Every time I am with you,

It is like the first time,

I experience love at first sight over and over,

Kissed by the goddess of love whenever you are around,

You took my shy bud of a heart,

And it bloomed into a beautiful flower,

Right in your hand,

Friable,

You could have crushed it at any time,

But you took care of it,

Under this beautiful sky you allowed it to grow,

So wonderful you are,

I love you so much,

That I hate you,

You bring me so much joy,

That you bring me the most sorrow I could ever experience,

My tears fall in big drops,

Like shining diamonds,

That fall up into the sky,

And create the stars,

That embrace your sweet soul that has left me too soon,

Always dreaming of you,

Wishing you were still here,

But you are not,

You left me too soon,

Forever loving you,

And your memory,

My flower.

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

Withering to Death

My poor sweet love,

Begging for my mercy,

Tears pouring out of her eyes,

One after another,

Like a river,

That’s right my darling,

Cry me a river,

A smile spreads its way across my face,

Please,

She begs,

Please,

I can hear her bargains no more,

I’ve loved her too long to let her stay with him,

Yes my baby,

Cry for me.

The knife finds its way into my hand,

The blade sharpened to a point,

It could cut through stone,

But could it cut through skin?

As she sees the blade,

My honey, my sweet,

Her cries become even louder,

I could promise her it would be quick,

That she would feel little to no pain,

But I have loved her too much to lie to her,

After the pain she caused me,

After I loved her so,

Even now she is my only love,

I gave her my life,

She took my body,

My beauty, my flower,

Don’t cry so hard,

You will ruin your dress.

The make-up runs down her face with such precision,

The perfect face for her to wear,

Her true face,

Not so pretty anymore is it,

My diamond,

You have done so very well my lovely,

You look most beautiful to me,

No one can see you how I do,

No, please,

She continues to beg,

I’m sorry,

She says,

Apology accepted my love,

But you will leave me again,

It still must be done.

The blade rushed forth,

As it did she screamed,

My little kitten,

No one can hear your cries,

Just me,

But I do not listen,

The sharp point finally reaches her dress,

I tear a shred,

Over and over I shred her dress,

Ruined,

Broken,

It is now your turn my lovely.

Her skin broke so gracefully,

No surprise to me,

My love, my life,

Always so graceful,

Straight into her chest it went,

One pained scream arose from her neck,

Right through the heart my love,

So it will be quicker for you,

And much more satisfactory for me,

The knife lodged in so deep,

Puncturing her heart,

As I take my knife out from her bosom,

Her blood pours all over my hands,

Sticky, crimson,

It doesn’t stop,

Pouring and pouring,

Like a river,

That’s right my darling,

Bleed me a river.

Please,

She whispers,

Too late to save you now my dear,

Too late.

Her once beautiful dress,

Now torn into shreds,

And yet she still looks oh so lovely in it,

Scarlet suits you more than white my scarlet rose,

Poor baby,

Shaking,

Becoming cold.

My unfortunate heart,

Lying in my arms,

Withering to death.

Yes my world,

Now you rest,

Now you can never leave,

Now you have been saved from the urges,

That make you want to leave,

Oh my dear dear forever,

Forever with me always you will be.

We belong together my honey,

My sugar plum,

We are alike in so many ways,

There is one thing that sets us apart,

Unlike you,

I’m not sorry.

Love me,

As I join you,

You will love me,

The  knife I used to take your heart lies on the floor next to you,

Oh my everything,

We will be together soon,

The river you cried for me is now polluted with blood,

Your delicious honey like blood.

The still sharp blade is stained with your sweet red color,

Much like your once white dress,

I’ve loved you too long,

I’ve loved you too much,

I’ve loved you too deep,

I’ve loved you too strong,

I cannot live without you, my sunshine.

I feel no pain as our blade slides across my throat,

I feel freedom and nothing more,

As I lie there,

In my last few seconds,

I see her face,

I hear her pleads,

Her blood still pours from her body.

That’s right my darling,

Bleed me a river.

Copyright © 2011 by

Atirah Jewel

Catching the Darkness

The darkness,

It rests peacefully,

When it is stirred,

It tries to break free,

I catch it before it gets loose,

But now,

I stare deep into my victims eyes,

Her cold dead eyes,

Pleading me as if they don’t know the deed is already done,

Her icy skin digging into me,

Mortified I am,

I can feel my darkness,

Eating at my soul,

Satisfied with what it has done,

I didn’t catch it in time,

It all happened so fast,

In one burst of anger,

I allowed my darkness to come out,

I can usually catch it in time,

But not this time,

I was too slow,

It broke free of the chains that surround it,

As my punishment,

I stare at the cold lifeless body,

That lies mocking me,

I want to be alone now,

And sit in quietness as my darkness consumes me,

From the inside out,

Devouring my soul,

Why now, why me,

In this season of spring,

There is no sun, no life,

My insides getting munched into nothing,

I was once hypnotized by those eyes,

But with my darkness unleashed,

Those eyes can’t save her now,

No more light for me,

A single tear seemed to slide down her cheek,

Her last tear,

Love me,

That is impossible now,

I now abandon hope,

She is dead,

I now will spend the rest of my life,

Alone,

Catching the darkness before it can play its dirty game,

Ever again,

Those cold eyes,

Still hypnotizing,

Even in death,

I leave her now,

Her body to decay into the ground,

Sorrow made her,

Now she will rest.

Copyright © 2011 by

Atirah Jewel