Hello Again, WordPress World.

Dear Readers,

Some of you might have noticed, most of I’m guessing didn’t really care but I have obviously not been very active on here as of late. My last post was months ago and this has been my first time signing in since. But really, it was Summer, so that means I’m excused right?

Anyways. Autumn is fast upon us which means I will be using my mobile phone a lot less and the desktop computer a lot more (or using my phone the same amount but just use the desktop more 🙂 ). In short, I will start being more active once again. Maybe not this month but soon I will be posting a lot more works and much more frequently than this past year. This poetry blog has been a place for me to share and vent for these past couple of years, not using it so much this past year of 2013 has taken it’s toll on me and has made me realise even more that this is definitely not just a blog.

So hope you all had a brilliant Summer and pleasure to be back!

 

 

 Sincerely,

Atirah Jewel

Let me Forget

My mind is polluted with the image of you,

That revolting image,

Of your living corpse,

And every shit-filled pore on your being,

The tainted blood dripping from your limbs,

Where you slashed yourself to heighten your misery,

Disappear from my world,

Go join your place in hell where you can freely moan in displeasure,

Complete your partial suicide,

And rot in the dirt,

Sleep eternally and let me forget,

Let me forget when I dreamt of you,

A pleasant dream, let me forget,

Let my memory of you be eaten from my mind as you crumble,

So you will become nothing but a faded thought that I plucked from my skull,

And threw away to rot on your grave with you.

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

Untitled

I plan the future,

So I don’t have to live in the now,

I find comfort in the past,

So I don’t have to face the present,

The present that I am pathetic,

That I am a disappointment,

I try to make everything just right,

Perfect,

But somehow,

I always make the most mistakes,

Me, who has no real talent,

Me, whose opinion and thoughts don’t really matter,

Drowning in myself for I am nothing to anyone else,

I will live in this pretend world of mine,

And pass each day of my untitled life by with self-seclusion,

And there I will plan my untitled future,

So I don’t have to live in the now,

I will find comfort in my untitled past,

So I won’t have to face my present,

And doing this,

I will pass each day of my life,

My meaningless, miserable existence,

Untitled.

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

Silent Tears

Why does my love,

The one I love so much,

My lover,

Why does my love,

Love another?

I’ve tried so hard to let him know,

How deep my love for him goes,

I’ve changed myself,

I’ve even changed my name,

And still I sit and quietly weep,

When he smiles in his sleep,

Because I know he is dreaming of someone else,

Because I know it is her lips he longs to press against his,

It is her body he wished to hold gently,

I pray, so long and hard,

I pray when he looks at me I wouldn’t wish I was her,

But I do wish I was her,

I wish I was as pretty as her,

And charismatic like her,

He wishes I was her,

If he thinks of me at all,

My heart breaks whenever I see them together,

Laughing and smiling,

The gleam in his eyes when he sees her,

I have to hold in my tears until I get away,

When I leave them together,

I know he is a little bit happier,

I sit alone, angry, jealous, frustrated, heart-broken,

All of my emotions released,

And I cry,

I silently cry it all out,

Why does my love, my life,

Have to love another?

I don’t know how this story will end,

I don’t even remember how it began,

All I know is I will continue to let him break my heart,

I will continue to silently cry,

I will continue to hide my feelings,

Because I know I still love him,

And even if it is the death of me,

Even if my heart breaks so much it shatters beyond repair,

No matter what I do,

Or how hard I try,

I just can’t seem to stop myself,

From loving him,

The one I love so much,

My lover who loves another.

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

Azure Velvet

I was dreaming,

Of a world free of sin,

I was hoping,

For a world free of heartbreak,

I was wishing,

For a world full of beauty,

But those wishes,

Those hopes and dreams,

Would never be fulfilled,

So I dreamt to get away from here,

Away from this cold-hearted world I am forced to live in,

I longed for paradise,

A paradise so wondrous,

I would never have to wish again,

I was so lonely,

So spectacularly broken,

The only thing I could ever do,

Was dream,

Wish that death would take me over,

Hope that death would become me,

I basked in the radiance of the thought,

My being was too filled with the sorrow,

Of the unfeeling world,

Of the cruel world,

So I lifted myself,

I saw finally the beauty of the snow,

The stars gleamed brightly as they fell from the sky,

Spotting the ground white,

Sparkling white stardust, snowdrops,

I would no longer cry tears,

I would no longer feel pain,

Death now surrounded me,

And touched my skin,

With delicate folds of azure velvet,

I was free,

I was happy,

I was dreaming,

Of a world free of sin,

I was hoping,

For a world free of heartbreak,

I was wishing,

For a world full of beauty,

But those wishes,

Those hopes and dreams,

Would never be fulfilled,

So I dreamt to get away from here,

And away I went.

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

Watcher

A strong and happy man,

I watch the sea while boats come through,

I long to sail but I must stay,

I am a protector of this land,

Forbidden to step foot on a boat,

A loving tribe is what we are,

But I am lonely for I have not a neighbor,

And my family is gone at sea,

We are safe though,

Our land high above the crashing waves,

I am a man, strong and happy.

Copyright © 2011 by

Atirah Jewel

The Eyes

The Eyes,

Piercing, they see me,

Who and what I want to be,

Beautiful, golden,

They are the x-ray,

Me, the patient,

Holding me like nothing is wrong,

I get lost in their gaze,

Trapped inside like a maze,

Beautiful,

The mirror of your soul,

Let me have a another look,

You broke the tantalizing stare,

Of your beautiful golden eyes,

Copyright © 2010 by

Atirah Jewel