All posts tagged blood

Dreaming of Happiness

Published November 15, 2013 by atirahjewel

I hurt myself,
Just to hear the screams,
I kill myself,
Just to feel the pain,
Just to taste the blood as I drown myself in it,
Fallen to my knees in agony,
Withered up,
All I can think to do it laugh,
Laugh, just so I can cry out more.
I’m obsessed with the idea of pain,
With the idea of death,
With darkness and decay,
The rot of flesh as it decomposes under the sun,
Unknown to any,
A woman,
Shriveled up and bleeding out until the minute of her demise,
A man,
Being the subject of torture as he begs for mercy,
Cold-blooded slaughter,
Unsuspecting victim,
It amuses me so,
Wishing I could be there with them,
Watching them wither and die,
Glimpse death as he takes their hand in his own icy grip,
Pray to be next.
Laughing forever so at these thoughts,
Fallen away to my own world,
Savouring each moment of my death,
Joining the victims of so many,
Pain was the last thing I felt.
Dreaming of happiness.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel

The Tree

Published October 16, 2013 by atirahjewel

T’was such a beautiful day,
I thought unto myself,
So I decided to go for a walk,
To further appreciate the day,
For in this life I had so few,
On my walk,
I happened upon an old tree,
It’s branches had been stripped bare by the season,
Leaving it vulnerable and exposed.
The trunk had been defiled by two set of initials,
Carved deep into the bark,
The pain those imbeciles must’ve caused the tree,
My whole body quivered with anger,
I had to close my eyes to calm my nerves.
When I opened them,
I let their gaze fall elsewhere.
To the bottom of the tree,
To the roots.
The gnarled, knotted, twisted roots,
They protruded from the soil,
As is the dirt that once surrounded them had been torn away,
Leaving them to be exposed as well.
They almost looked like women,
Women who were left bare,
All piled atop one another,
They looked as if they were calling out in agony,
Desperately pleading for their lives,
Waiting for someone to help them.
If you truly listened,
You could hear their screams,
Riding on the howling wind.
How real it all seemed,
How loud they sounded in my mind,
I caught myself imagining they were real women.
Shaking the disturbing image from my mind,
I walked on.
I came across several more interesting trees,
Each having a story of its own to tell,
I saw several birds and streams,
Heard many calls of wild beasts,
But my mind kept wondering back to one place,
Those roots.
Those helpless women.
The image was disturbing, yes,
Yet I could not help but be intrigued,
My feet moved on their own,
And I sprinted back the the tree,
The fascination consumed me.
I looked on and thought,
“These women, if I cut them,
Would they bleed?
Would they cry out in pain,
Or beg for my help and mercy?”
I closed my eyes once more,
When I opened them I stumbled back in horror,
For a brief moment,
They ceased to be made of wood,
They were human, living and breathing,
I resolved to come back later,
When everyone else was gone,
So we could be alone.
When later presented itself to me,
I gathered myself and went back,
An axe slumped over my shoulder,
A test for her,
To see if she would scream,
To see if she would fight,
To see if she would bleed.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel


Published June 17, 2013 by atirahjewel

In even your lightest hour,

Darkness consumes you,

In your brightest moment,

Shadows rule,

Even the purest of your dreams,

Are tainted with the unholy thing that is me.

When the blood clouds your eyes,

Let it fall down your body like the silk down the bed,

Let it consume you like the predator does the prey.

Is this a dream?

Am I dreaming of a world that doesn’t exist,

Where you and I could possibly be?

If so, then wake me up,

I would hate for you to be trapped in such an ugly nightmare.

Copyright © 2013 by

Atirah Jewel

Withering to Death

Published December 13, 2011 by atirahjewel

My poor sweet love,

Begging for my mercy,

Tears pouring out of her eyes,

One after another,

Like a river,

That’s right my darling,

Cry me a river,

A smile spreads its way across my face,


She begs,


I can hear her bargains no more,

I’ve loved her too long to let her stay with him,

Yes my baby,

Cry for me.

The knife finds its way into my hand,

The blade sharpened to a point,

It could cut through stone,

But could it cut through skin?

As she sees the blade,

My honey, my sweet,

Her cries become even louder,

I could promise her it would be quick,

That she would feel little to no pain,

But I have loved her too much to lie to her,

After the pain she caused me,

After I loved her so,

Even now she is my only love,

I gave her my life,

She took my body,

My beauty, my flower,

Don’t cry so hard,

You will ruin your dress.

The make-up runs down her face with such precision,

The perfect face for her to wear,

Her true face,

Not so pretty anymore is it,

My diamond,

You have done so very well my lovely,

You look most beautiful to me,

No one can see you how I do,

No, please,

She continues to beg,

I’m sorry,

She says,

Apology accepted my love,

But you will leave me again,

It still must be done.

The blade rushed forth,

As it did she screamed,

My little kitten,

No one can hear your cries,

Just me,

But I do not listen,

The sharp point finally reaches her dress,

I tear a shred,

Over and over I shred her dress,



It is now your turn my lovely.

Her skin broke so gracefully,

No surprise to me,

My love, my life,

Always so graceful,

Straight into her chest it went,

One pained scream arose from her neck,

Right through the heart my love,

So it will be quicker for you,

And much more satisfactory for me,

The knife lodged in so deep,

Puncturing her heart,

As I take my knife out from her bosom,

Her blood pours all over my hands,

Sticky, crimson,

It doesn’t stop,

Pouring and pouring,

Like a river,

That’s right my darling,

Bleed me a river.


She whispers,

Too late to save you now my dear,

Too late.

Her once beautiful dress,

Now torn into shreds,

And yet she still looks oh so lovely in it,

Scarlet suits you more than white my scarlet rose,

Poor baby,


Becoming cold.

My unfortunate heart,

Lying in my arms,

Withering to death.

Yes my world,

Now you rest,

Now you can never leave,

Now you have been saved from the urges,

That make you want to leave,

Oh my dear dear forever,

Forever with me always you will be.

We belong together my honey,

My sugar plum,

We are alike in so many ways,

There is one thing that sets us apart,

Unlike you,

I’m not sorry.

Love me,

As I join you,

You will love me,

The  knife I used to take your heart lies on the floor next to you,

Oh my everything,

We will be together soon,

The river you cried for me is now polluted with blood,

Your delicious honey like blood.

The still sharp blade is stained with your sweet red color,

Much like your once white dress,

I’ve loved you too long,

I’ve loved you too much,

I’ve loved you too deep,

I’ve loved you too strong,

I cannot live without you, my sunshine.

I feel no pain as our blade slides across my throat,

I feel freedom and nothing more,

As I lie there,

In my last few seconds,

I see her face,

I hear her pleads,

Her blood still pours from her body.

That’s right my darling,

Bleed me a river.

Copyright © 2011 by

Atirah Jewel