This is my seventh attempt…

Published February 20, 2014 by atirahjewel

This is my seventh attempt,
Of writing what has been written,
Seven-thousand times before,
Stealing the world’s ideas,
And corrupting her words,
Altering phrases, slightly turning meaning,
Until it seems to be my own,
This is my seventh attempt.

This is my eighth attempt,
Of writing the same words,
I’ve written eight-thousand times before,
Re-using the same theme,
Again and again, and yet once again,
Giving my works a sound that is repetitive and boring,
Pushing away hopes of growth.
This is my eighth attempt.

This is my ninth attempt,
Of becoming a murderer,
Attempted nine-thousand times before,
Oh but why can’t I just die,
And fade away with all my dreams,
Reiterative and plagiaristic,
And forget everything, but how to sleep?
This is my ninth attempt.


Copyright © 2014 by
Atirah Jewel

A Lover’s Song

Published January 17, 2014 by atirahjewel

It has been years since I started singing,
This song so long,
The truth of my heart brought to my ears ringing,
Believing in you was where I went wrong.
On the brightest night, the truest of the nights of Summer;
I find the fault of myself,
To have been taken in by your charm and glimmer,
The utter death of me.

Through shadows cast and breezes blown,
And with your awful grin,
Filled brimming with evil intents, I should have known,
That no love for me has ever there been.
Yet, still, the song of Love from these lips are sung,
With the fondest of melodies,
So that your heart might reached and my words not hung
Coldly at the feet of the Ogre.

With a now empty heart, I write of a lover scorned;
By their own lover, truly adored.
Although the child had been ample warned,
That their lover would surely grow bored
At their trivial attempts of a romance true,
Textbook driven, fueled by thoughts
Of imaginary Love was what they tried to pursue,
Ultimately their end.


Copyright © 2014 by
Atirah Jewel

Quickly, Swiftly…

Published December 20, 2013 by atirahjewel

Quickly, swiftly,
The body decomposes before it’s in the ground,
The wounds that once dripped blood now seep with pus.

Deeper, lower,
The ground falls as the grave is dug,
The grass that once flourished green is now but a mound of dirt.

Heaviest, darkest,
The night sky becomes as the corpse is tossed in the ditch,
The heart that once beat proud and strong is now just a stone.

Moved, determined,
The hand the works to refill the ground becomes,
The shovel that once lay dormant is thrown back into use.

Quietly, softly,
I creep from the seed I planted,
The ground that once lay undisturbed shall now bloom with lilies.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel

Silentium

Published November 25, 2013 by atirahjewel

Silence forms in beads around my neck,
Tightening it’s grip until I’m just clinging on the edge of the cliff of life,
My fingers slipping,
A slow descent down,
I am falling, drifting,
Dear Lord who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name,
I beg you save my soul from damnation,
As my body be expelled to my grave,
Eternal rest laid in my arms,
The shallow grave I’m given,
Only an enemy be my company,
My murderer,
My demise,
My dearest friend,
Silence.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel

Dreaming of Happiness

Published November 15, 2013 by atirahjewel

I hurt myself,
Just to hear the screams,
I kill myself,
Just to feel the pain,
Just to taste the blood as I drown myself in it,
Fallen to my knees in agony,
Withered up,
Dying,
All I can think to do it laugh,
Laugh, just so I can cry out more.
I’m obsessed with the idea of pain,
With the idea of death,
With darkness and decay,
The rot of flesh as it decomposes under the sun,
Unknown to any,
A woman,
Shriveled up and bleeding out until the minute of her demise,
A man,
Being the subject of torture as he begs for mercy,
Cold-blooded slaughter,
Unsuspecting victim,
It amuses me so,
Wishing I could be there with them,
Watching them wither and die,
Glimpse death as he takes their hand in his own icy grip,
Pray to be next.
Laughing forever so at these thoughts,
Fallen away to my own world,
Savouring each moment of my death,
Joining the victims of so many,
Pain was the last thing I felt.
Dreaming of happiness.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel

The Tree

Published October 16, 2013 by atirahjewel

T’was such a beautiful day,
I thought unto myself,
So I decided to go for a walk,
To further appreciate the day,
For in this life I had so few,
On my walk,
I happened upon an old tree,
It’s branches had been stripped bare by the season,
Leaving it vulnerable and exposed.
The trunk had been defiled by two set of initials,
Carved deep into the bark,
The pain those imbeciles must’ve caused the tree,
My whole body quivered with anger,
I had to close my eyes to calm my nerves.
When I opened them,
I let their gaze fall elsewhere.
To the bottom of the tree,
To the roots.
The gnarled, knotted, twisted roots,
They protruded from the soil,
As is the dirt that once surrounded them had been torn away,
Leaving them to be exposed as well.
They almost looked like women,
Women who were left bare,
All piled atop one another,
They looked as if they were calling out in agony,
Desperately pleading for their lives,
Waiting for someone to help them.
If you truly listened,
You could hear their screams,
Riding on the howling wind.
How real it all seemed,
How loud they sounded in my mind,
I caught myself imagining they were real women.
Shaking the disturbing image from my mind,
I walked on.
I came across several more interesting trees,
Each having a story of its own to tell,
I saw several birds and streams,
Heard many calls of wild beasts,
But my mind kept wondering back to one place,
Those roots.
Those helpless women.
The image was disturbing, yes,
Yet I could not help but be intrigued,
My feet moved on their own,
And I sprinted back the the tree,
The fascination consumed me.
I looked on and thought,
“These women, if I cut them,
Would they bleed?
Would they cry out in pain,
Or beg for my help and mercy?”
I closed my eyes once more,
When I opened them I stumbled back in horror,
For a brief moment,
They ceased to be made of wood,
They were human, living and breathing,
Pained.
I resolved to come back later,
When everyone else was gone,
So we could be alone.
When later presented itself to me,
I gathered myself and went back,
An axe slumped over my shoulder,
A test for her,
To see if she would scream,
To see if she would fight,
To see if she would bleed.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel

To Lan

Published September 24, 2013 by atirahjewel

The lines you have written,
Have spoken to me,
Telling me that the beauty in your soul,
Radiates with the light of one thousand suns,
All of the stars that sprinkle the night sky,
Could never even begin to compare,
To the brilliance of your shine.

With this hand, I write to you,
Pondering what words to use,
To speak to you.
How could my silly phrases possibly reach you,
When I lay upon the ground,
And you are stationed above the clouds?

Your words sing Utopian songs to me,
Racing ahead of the rest,
You dance with Beauty,
Yet you lie with Darkness,
You are the mistress to a poet,
A poet I once knew.

Higher rising you are,
On your wings made of gold,
‘Till you sit atop the Sun itself,
Finally letting it bask in your brilliance,
And shining through my darkness,
With your light.

Yours Truly,
Atirah

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel

Engel

Published September 9, 2013 by atirahjewel

Sweet child of mine,
You took my hand,
You took my flesh,
And now the sky refuses to smile at you.
Murderous.

You watch as the darkness falls,
The only light you will know,
But instead of tears,
You produce a smile.
Relentless.

The wounds you have caused,
Scars that will never heal,
You fly on your broken wings of withered dreams,
And sing good-bye to all the angels.
Odious.

Copyright © 2013 by
Atirah Jewel

Hello Again, WordPress World.

Published August 17, 2013 by atirahjewel

Dear Readers,

Some of you might have noticed, most of I’m guessing didn’t really care but I have obviously not been very active on here as of late. My last post was months ago and this has been my first time signing in since. But really, it was Summer, so that means I’m excused right?

Anyways. Autumn is fast upon us which means I will be using my mobile phone a lot less and the desktop computer a lot more (or using my phone the same amount but just use the desktop more 🙂 ). In short, I will start being more active once again. Maybe not this month but soon I will be posting a lot more works and much more frequently than this past year. This poetry blog has been a place for me to share and vent for these past couple of years, not using it so much this past year of 2013 has taken it’s toll on me and has made me realise even more that this is definitely not just a blog.

So hope you all had a brilliant Summer and pleasure to be back!

 

 

 Sincerely,

Atirah Jewel

Ténèbres

Published June 17, 2013 by atirahjewel

In even your lightest hour,

Darkness consumes you,

In your brightest moment,

Shadows rule,

Even the purest of your dreams,

Are tainted with the unholy thing that is me.

When the blood clouds your eyes,

Let it fall down your body like the silk down the bed,

Let it consume you like the predator does the prey.

Is this a dream?

Am I dreaming of a world that doesn’t exist,

Where you and I could possibly be?

If so, then wake me up,

I would hate for you to be trapped in such an ugly nightmare.

Copyright © 2013 by

Atirah Jewel