A Thousand Pairs of Eyes

Published February 27, 2012 by atirahjewel

I am scared,

I am angry,

I don’t know what I am,

I can’t walk,

I can’t move,

I’m always being followed,

By a man,

Sometimes a woman,

I go to a dinner party,

And I take off my hat,

Suddenly I am being watched by a thousand pairs of eyes,

Maybe more,

Some out in the open,

Some hidden in the shadows and places we won’t look,

I can’t put it back on because then more people would watch,

When I am at my seemingly empty home,

I can hear the footsteps of my stalkers,

My assassins,

Paranoia sets in,

But it’s not paranoia,

I know this,

To be noticed,

To know you have this talent,

This amazing talent,

That only a select few can see,

Can know,

They know,

And that is why they follow me,

So they can steal it from me,

So they can reduce me down to nothing,

As if I was a fraction,

To keep taking parts of my soul,

What is happening to me,

I had so many ideas,

Now I just scrawl all over the page,

I need to feel free,

Free of these all-seeing eyes,

Homicidal eyes,

Maybe later,

Always later,

These unfeeling hands can finally feel again,

Hearing thoughts spoken aloud,

My own thoughts that were to remain in my head,

Did I hear them or just think them,

I don’t know anymore,

My followers have all left me,

Alone and cold,

I miss them now,

They kept me occupied,

I have no one,

They’ve all forsaken me,

What is real anymore,

Crazy,

I think I’m going crazy,

Crazy crazy crazy,

Don’t ever bring me down,

Don’t let me come down,

Let me live this trip,

Crazy,

Oh crazy,

Losing my mind,

Oh the judgement day approaches,

And the man that walks me to the gate,

Speaks with the voice of a thousand men,

Staring at me,

Did he summon the stalkers who haunted my dreams,

No I summoned them,

I wanted them,

I wanted to be insane I think,

But I’m not yet,

They are,

Everyone is,

Not me,

Not yet,

I surpass GOD with all of the power surging through me,

The man with a thousand voices speaks to me,

“You dare defy me,”

A smile on my face,

No I have too much power to smile,

Judgement day,

I am not the accused,

But I am the judge,

This man my jury,

“I am your judge,”

I reply to him,

My voice a million yet sounding like one,

Sent back in time,

My sister clinging onto my blouse,

Her wide doe eyes staring up at me,

“Brother help me,”

A sight for sore eyes,

Covered in blood,

What has happened to her,

“They are all gone,

Dead and gone,

Oh brother please please help me,”

Her pleas sting my ears,

Tears falling and falling,

This is where it started,

I am not Judge,

Or God,

I am merely a man,

With no family,

I tried to help her,

But to the house she went,

I never see her again,

They say she went crazy,

I let her wither and die,

No,

Why,

Why couldn’t I help,

I am poor,

I am chained,

It is her eyes that follow me,

That haunt me,

But they are gone,

Is she gone,

I’ve taken from myself all I ever had,

And now I have nothing else to do but lay here,

With my pocket always empty,

And my hands always full,

Am I crazy yet,

No,

Not yet,

As I retrieve my coat and put on my hat,

I feel once again,

All of the eyes,

Watching me leave,

Watching me once more,

A thousand pairs of eyes.

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

3 comments on “A Thousand Pairs of Eyes

  • I suggest to use a question mark when a questions are being asked. It’s really strong then. Commas make it sound like soft and windy.

    Your writing is truly beautiful, each intricate word are intwined together, fitting perfectly. You have real talent in your fingers.
    My question is what’s your over arching goal for your poems? To publish, to be heard, touched, or just read and shared?

    See, I understand the style your trying to influence with only commas at ends of the lines, but with the beautiful words you use people want time to take it all in. Just a a sec or two, to breathe, feel it all. Plus periods, especially short sentences come down harder to people.
    Though, it really just depends how you want it to be read, how you read it with your poetic
    voice. Experiment with this style, experiment many others, I’m not telling you what to do but to just suggest to give it a try.

    You’re awesome!

    A fellow writer,
    Isaura

    • I actually have experienced with these styles, some I have published (Withering to Death, Give me Mercy) and some I just didn’t like the feel of. I have many more writings that I have not posted on here. Some lines of them end with exclamatory marks, question marks, periods, and commas alike. Some poems I have written have lines that end with all. It is just to my particular liking that I do NOT like to use them until the end of the poem or verse. Thank you for your suggestions and kind words Isaura. I don’t aim to be published or even acknowledged. If someone with a wandering eye happens to find my poems, I hope they enjoy what they have found but if not, oh well. I using writing as more of an outlet for my feelings, like most writers do, but I do not consider myself a writer or a poet, just someone who has access to words and a place to arrange them in a way I find fit. All the same, I would like to see some of YOUR writings, Isaura, as I have just realized I really haven’t seen any. That aside, once more thank you for the tips and compliments.🙂

      AtirahJewel

      • I get it. I think that’s a great way to go at writing, too. I think of you as a Poet, regardless of the attention or any of that stuff. You love to write, you deserve the title. Okay, it’s your style and and it’s great you have one. I’ve shared my writings with you, actually. We gave eachother compliments and reads on Newmoon, remember? I can send you a link to Threesixty and some other sites that I posted them on.

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