Give Me Mercy

Published January 9, 2012 by atirahjewel

What’s happening?

This thought goes through my mind over and over,

Where am I?

The second thought that crosses my mind,

A single beam of light streams in,

Where does it come from?

Finally, you’re awake,

A familiar voice says,

Finally.

As he walks up to me,

I shrink back in terror,

What is that thing gleaming on the floor?

A knife?

So sharp,

The point alone looked like it could cut through bone,

Why was it there?

I was so confused.

He spoke to me saying,

You left me,

I loved you,

But still you left,

You made a mistake,

But that’s okay,

You were confused,

I will make sure we are together forever,

I will see to it you aren’t confused again.

I looked at the knife at his feet,

Suddenly everything was so clear,

A crime of passion,

Of so-called love,

I was going to die.

Please,

I beg,

Please,

The word comes from my lips over and over,

Give me mercy.

My eyes begin erupting with tears,

A river in the making,

That’s right my darling,

Cry me a river,

He mutters under his breath,

A slow smile slides over his mouth,

But not the kind loving smile I once knew,

A new one,

An evil one,

Please,

I beg,

Please.

He leaned down,

When he stood back up the blade was in his hand,

When I saw it,

I was paralyzed with shock,

I screamed louder than before,

Knowing there was no point screaming,

Knowing no matter what I would die anyway,

Still I cry,

I scream,

I beg,

I plead,

It was instinct.

If only I could know what was going through his mind,

Why did he have to do this?

I saw my reflection in the blade,

My face stained with ruined make-up,

Some was creeping onto the dress he had put me in,

Why was he trying to make me look so elegant?

I would ruin the dress,

Smear my make-up,

Not so pretty anymore am I?

No, please,

I continued begging,

I’m sorry,

I said,

But I said it to myself,

For loving him,

That I was going to die,

I was apologizing to myself,

Not to him,

But I couldn’t say it in my mind,

Vocalizing it was the only thing that made it real,

The only way I could make amends with myself,

I’m sorry for getting you into this,

I think,

This I do not say aloud,

It would confuse him to much,

If he knew I didn’t love him he would  kill me more brutally,

Let him think I say I’m sorry for hurting him,

I’ve lied to him before.

Apology accepted my love,

But you will leave me again,

It still must be done,

He spoke,

I didn’t know that voice,

I didn’t really know him at all.

He raised the knife high and brought it forward,

My time has come,

I thought,

It rushed forth,

As it did I screamed,

No one could hear me I was sure.

It didn’t pierce me though,

Just my dress,

He tore the fabric,

Over and over,

Again and again,

Again the blade raised and again it lowered,

Just to tear my dress.

It is now your turn my lovely,

Once again he raised the knife,

Hesitant to lower it,

My skin had just enough time to turn to glass,

Finally the blade penetrated my skin,

But it was not his knife that stabbed my heart,

It was little shattered pieces of my glass skin,

I screamed once,

Just once,

All I needed was just one scream.

I couldn’t help but think,

I was saying I was sorry for hurting him,

I did love him and I was sorry for what I did,

But that couldn’t be,

I don’t love him.

My blood poured over his hands,

Please,

I whisper to myself,

Please tell me you never loved him,

I lie in his arms,

Withering to death,

Unlike you,

I’m not sorry.

He whispers.

Love me,

As I join you,

You will love me,

He says.

But I do love you,

I wish I could say it aloud,

I love you now,

You don’t need to join me,

But now we can be together,

Always together.

Tears form in his eyes,

I cannot live without you, my sunshine.

He lays me down in a pool of my own blood,

He picks back up the knife that was lying next to me,

And he slid it across his own throat,

Blood started spilling out from his neck,

Just before I closed my eyes,

One last thought crept through my brain,

I must have  known him on some level,

I say this because,

 I think to him the same words he last whispered to me.

That’s right my darling,

Bleed me a river.

Copyright © 2012 by

Atirah Jewel

One comment on “Give Me Mercy

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